Typically, when someone doesn't understand what you're presenting or selling to them, their natural response is to say "no" to the offer, disagree with you, or simply not believe you. This is true whether you are asking them out on a date, trying to sell them a car, or trying to convince them of your position on global warming.

Saying "no" or some other form of rejection, is actually the natural defense mechanism that most people use when they don't have enough information or are confused about what they have been presented with. They simply don't have all the facts to support a "yes" or positive response.

Many people won't ask questions to clarify what they've heard because they don't want to look unintelligent or be embarrassed -- so they just say "no" or offer some other form of rejection to save face.

Successful people can recognize the difference between their audience's lack of information and a true "rejection".

Now, don't get me wrong -- successful people have to deal with rejection " just like everyone else. But...

Successful people face rejection less frequently than most others. WHY?

To learn about dealing with rejection, it is critical that the potential "buyer" or listener clearly understands what you're offering. More importantly, it's imperative that you understand their needs, desires and problems in order to give them what they want. You can't solve a problem if you don't know what it is. The following steps will help you learn how to deal with rejection and even avoid it!

Successful people apply these steps intuitively and the result = less rejection!

3 Easy Steps for Dealing with Rejection

STEP 1:

Whether you're selling a Maserati automobile or asking someone for a first date -- before you make your sales pitch or present your case -- you need to ask non-threatening, "qualifying questions" to understand the needs, desires and problems of your customer (or audience). This step is foundational in learning how to deal with a possible rejection.

Examples of Qualifying Questions

• Tell me about your experience, good or bad, with _____?
• Have you ever ____ before?
• How can I/we help you with _____?
  
• If you could change one thing about  _____, what would it be?
• In your opinion, what is the single most important thing about _____?
• How do you currently _____?
• What can you tell me about _____?
• How often do you _____?
• Can you give me some examples of _____?
• In your boss'/spouse's/friend's/father's opinion, what is _____?

Successful people understand that it is critical to get to know their customer and their needs first. Yet, most salespeople and presenters tend to jump right in and make their pitches right after saying hello. As a result, they typically will get a "no" response or unspoken rejection pretty early in the conversation.

STEP 2:

"Listening" goes hand in hand with asking qualifying questions in Step 1. It's not enough to ask questions of your audience or customer. You have to also listen carefully to their responses. And not just their words!

People give off many other important signals during the course of a conversation through non-verbal cues, including the tone of their voice and body language (posture, attentiveness, facial expressions, eye contact, etc.). These unspoken elements are particularly important for communicating feelings and attitude, especially when the words disagree with the tone of voice and facial expressions. And, most people tend to believe the tonality and facial expressions more than the spoken words.

According to Dr. Albert Mehrabian (Professor Emeritus of Psychology, UCLA) in his "Rule of 7%-38%-55%":

7% of interpersonal communication is verbal.
38% of interpersonal communication is voice tone.
55% of interpersonal communication is general body language.

If you miss these important signals, you're missing much of the conversation! The successful people among us get this. Whether naturally or learned, they get it and use it in overcoming rejection (very often, subconsciously). They listen not only with their ears, but also with their other senses.

IMPORTANT NOTE: this is what makes communication and "selling" over the telephone or e-mail so difficult. With the telephone, you might pick up 45% of the customer's total communication (words + voice tone). With e-mail you're only picking up about 7% of the customer's total message! (Minimally, this means you should always give your customer a call if you can't meet in person. Never rely solely on e-mail!)

STEP 3:

Finally, learning how to deal with rejection involves "customizing" your sales pitch or presentation to meet the needs that you now understand are important to your "customer". One size does not fit all!

If you've followed Steps 1 & 2 above, you will have a good idea of how to shape your presentation to "fit" your customer.

SUMMARY:

Above, I stated that "successful people face rejection less frequently than most others." The reason is that by asking qualifying questions; listening to customer responses with both ears and eyes; then tailoring their presentations to the customer's specific needs -- they are providing the customer with the complete information required to make an informed decision. And, in many cases, this results in a positive response!

There you have it. You now know how to deal with rejection.

Now -- PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE! (And don't rely on e-mail!)

Dealing With Rejection

Tired of Hearing "NO" ?